Are mothers better parents than fathers?

We are leaving in the reality of a cliché that ‘fathers are a biological necessity, but a social accident.’ Pushing me to ask whether women are better parents than men? Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Indeed this is a hot debate but women are better parents in emotional and social development of the child while fathers chip in material providence. It dawned on me that men are ‘dropping’ children everywhere without bothering of their upkeep when by step-sister conceived. Her presumed husband took off after realizing she was pregnant with his baby and we as the family wished to hold him responsible for the upkeep of the child. Indeed single mothers are victims of men out to satisfy their emotional wants without worrying about the consequence of such acts. From both maternal and paternal points of view this indeed is a controversial issue but facts don’t lie. Statistics show that most of the custodial parents are mothers. Further, many of the noncustodial fathers have only been forced by court orders or voluntarily agreed to pay for child support but many default on their commitment and become “deadbeat dads." I’m a man but have no grudges against men but only out to place facts that mothers are better parents than fathers! Men have actually abdicated their duty to become partners in bringing up children. Ironically it is the care of the mother that pushes men to behave in a manner likely to be seen as abdication.


There is physiological connection between the mother and the child which the father has no part to play. Even though without the father, a mother can comfortably raise a child; conversely without the mother it would be potentially difficult to bring up the child. Foetuses gestate for nine months within the female body, and infants are, at least in the past, nursed by the mother for several years after birth. It is on this premise that courts usually award mother the custodial duties to care for the children than fathers. But fathers have perfected this scenario through neglect. Though it is biologically necessary for mothers and fathers to come together for procreation, to mothers each child is far more important than it is to the father. For any emotional and social problems suffered by children the mother comes in as the first confidant. It results from the lack of an "attachment bond between the child and the father”, the process by which the infant comes to prefer specific adults-specifically his mother-over fathers. This attachment is based on instinctive responses like crying, smiling and sucking important for the protection and survival of the child. It is this time spent with the infant that the mother develops the bond that now comes to favour her as the ‘better parent’ and elicit necessary maternal care and protection for the infant. Indeed as the child grows up and he/she becomes conscious of the environment, the first person that the infant becomes familiar with is the mother. This in fact relegates fathers to the role of mother's little helper.
However in the absence of the mother a responsible father could have easily provided the same kind of warmth and comfort, even if couldn't nurse the offspring.



Men have perfected the art of neglect. Socialized into being the family breadwinner, "traditional" fathers provided a strong moral and material support for their families, meted out discipline for their children, but did little else. The burden of carrying the pregnancy and taking care of children in the early days of their lives has naturally been on the shoulders of the mother. Fathers have no moral right to sire kids they have intent of fending for. Knowing the mother’s greater commitment to her children, the father can abandon them, secure in the knowledge that the mother would never do likewise, because if she did, the children would be virtually certain to die. Men have taken this to mean that they can do everything without iota of fear that the children they have helped to bring to the world will require their attention. However, there are mother whose instincts have failed them the test. This is the group that aborts kids or goes all the way carrying the pregnancy for nine months but end up dumping them in dustbins and garbage sites.
Mothers spend more time with children than fathers. When a lady is pregnant, she is relieved of duties from her a work place by law: she is entitled to maternity leave. Though paternity leaves have been introduced in some countries the maternity leave is still the longest in comparison. Men are better actors than performers when it comes to child-rearing. The father may have paced the waiting room during childbirth, if ever, but never changed a diaper or warmed a bottle, and generally steered clear of the nursery, leaving the responsibility for child rearing almost entirely to their wives. When fathers

abdicate their duties mothers have left with no option but to care for the young ones by any means.
It is apparent that either by design or fate mothers are better parents than fathers and kids feels emotionally attached to their mothers more than their fathers.
Most fathers would probably prefer to invest in their children and raise them by themselves rather than see them die, but they normally do not have to make this difficult decision, because they know that the mother would never abandon them. The mother’s greater commitment to her children ironically allows the father to have his cake and eat it too, by moving on to the next marriage and family in which to invest.

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